10. Albums by people you have never heard of. Who exactly are The Sandpipers, or Jimmy Rodgers, The Four Freshmen, and how did they manage to sell enough records to eventually end up at thrift stores when nobody’s ever heard of them in the first place? Who knows? I thought people in the 60’s were buying albums by a little band named the Beatles but I guess I was wrong.

9. Fun and Games by Chuck Mangione. If by chance I happen to stumble across some thrift store records that were actually made in a decade in which I was alive they are usually by Chuck Mangieone. I have no idea why.

8. Christmas music, Christmas music and more Christmas music. You usually have to sort through the acres of holiday tunes when it’s the middle of August and you just want to score some vinyl Judas Preist.

7. Weird Albums made by churches. These are usually Christmas related but not always. They usually have a title like Greater Delacourte Presbyterian Choir sings: Hymns for our Time, or the path to Salvation lies Within! Often they are not music at all but some sorta sermon like Rock and Roll and our children: Why Little Johnny is Hell-bound.

6. Baja Marimba Band. On every album, this band uses the same 1960’s font as Herb Alpert. (our thrifting champ) I assume they make the same kind of elevator music.

5. The Bank of America Music Box compilation album. For some reason bankamericacard came out with a compilation album featuring Sergio Mendes and Brasil 66, Wes Montgomery, Claudine Longet and lots of tracks by our thrift store pals Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. To answer your questions no I don’t know who Sergio Mendes and Brasil 66, Wes Montgomery, and Claudine Longet are, and no I don’t know why I see this compilation so much. My guess is that they were givin' it out for free, to anybody who walked by a Bank of America.

4. John Denver. Though John Denver ranks high in the ranks of albums found in thriftdom, I am not gonna make fun because he used to star in Christmas T.V. shows with the Muppets, and they are hands down the best puppet related kids show ever made. If you ever find the John Denver sings with the Muppets record in a thrift shop consider yourself blessed.

3. Barbara Streisand singing a duet with somebody. John Denver, Frank Sinatra, Neil Diamond or whoever. I personally have found the duet with Neil Diamond to be the most common, but that may be a regional phenomenon. Unfortunately I still haven’t found the Barbara Streisand and Snoop Dogg duet. I keep on looking though.

2. Mitch Miller. Now if you read Rock’n’Roll in Locker Seventeen; the book I star in, you will discover I have no idea who Mitch Miller is. I still am not too sure who he is but by looking at the covers of these 1950s era records I gather that Mitch is some kinda guy who wants you to sing along with him. Maybe he had a TV show or something. Anyways judging by the sheer numbers of Mitch Miller records I have come across I assume he was a millionaire. If you ask me this Mitch guy had a sweet gig going, selling millions of records just by getting you to sing with him. Did they not have Karaoke in 1955?

1.Any album by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana brass. Every thrift store on the planet is by law required to have two things: A 1980 copy of Trivial Pursuit in the blue box and at least one album by Herb Alpert. With any luck they will have a copy of Whipped Cream and Other Delights. I bought myself a ten-cent copy just so I could fantasize about Cindy Crawford, Claudia Schiffer or my hottie classmate Justine Weeks being covered in whipped cream like the girl on the cover.

The top 2 records you never ever see in thrift stores.

2. Anything good. Mostly when I look through old records I see old crap from the 60s like all the stuff mentioned above. Every once in awhile I get lucky and make a real score. I guess this is what keeps me going.

1. The Beatles Yesterday and Today with the butcher cover. I found a really thrashed copy of Abbey Road once but this is the thrift store record I really want. It’s apparently got meat and evil baby doll heads and the Beatles themselves looking all evil. I’ve never actually seen this cover but I heard all about it the other day from my friend’s brother and it sounds cool, so I will keep looking.

If you care to delve even deeper into the bins…
Here are some thrift store record links.

Bizarre records: One of the original thrift store record guides. This one has plenty of cool catergories like Don't ask, Don't tell and Big hair for Jesus.

Frank’s vinyl museum: More crazy records featuring Col. Sanders and Muhammed Ali. Comes with downloadable songs for your next shindig.

Kiddie records: Download a bizarre kids album every month this year. This looks like it would be helpful if you are sick of playing too many Barney, or Britney Spears songs for your kids. (Ugh Britney. I think I prefer Barney.)

Oddio overplay: If you are too chicken to enter a thrift store on your own you can find out about all kinds of bizzare music here.